It isn’t about the helmet it’s about the journey to get your name on the helmet

My kids made fun of me for paying $55 in a silent auction for this helmet.

Red baseball helmet with an eagle sticker and the signatures of 18 baseball players in black ink.

I tried to explain to them that it wasn’t about the helmet. It was about what the helmet represents.

This helmet contains the signature of 18 young men. Men who have spent portions of their lives chasing after a dream. The dream of playing varsity high school baseball. They dream of representing their school in competition. They dream of competing at their highest level as a geographically collocated student body.

I am happy for all 18 young men who earned the right to sign the helmet.  Each of them has a unique story of how they achieved their dream. Each family has a story about the time, talent, and treasure they have dedicated to helping these young men achieve their dreams. Congrats to all the families and the young men. 

For me personally, two of the signatures are worth way more than $55. The signatures of Eli and Evan. My sons.

They say that baseball is a game of failure where you can fail 70% of the time at hitting a ball and still be considered one of the greatest of all time—a game where if a pitcher throws a strike 70% of the time, they are considered elite. In a game where you fail so often, they make t-shirts with slogans like the one in this picture.

I wanted this helmet because Eli is a senior. This will be his last season of baseball. He has decided to walk away from the game. To chase a new dream. I couldn’t be more proud. 

I wanted this helmet because Evan is a sophomore. He set a short-term goal of playing with his older brother. He achieved his goal and I am proud of him, but for Evan, making varsity is a step towards a bigger dream to continue to compete at as high a level as he can for as long as he can.

I wanted this helmet because, at least for this year, a game that has divided our family so often has united us and provided an opportunity to celebrate the accomplishments of our sons and their 16 teammates. 

My sons are sharing this year together, but they have taken very different paths to get to this season. 

For me, this helmet represents one of the saddest realities of how our world works. We look at other people and pass judgment. We look at other people and assume we know their story. 

This helmet is a reminder, at least in part, of how we often get our judgments of others wrong. Judging the journeys of others is a game of failure just like baseball, we look to the 30% of the time we get it right and proclaim ourselves as world class and justify continuing to play the judgment game. The reality is most people are as good at judging others accurately as they would be hitting a big league curve ball. 

Both Eli and Evan are gifted baseball players. They have earned the right to be on varsity. It has taken hard work, dedication, sacrifice, passion, and skill. But their paths to this season couldn’t have been more different.

If I told you, one of the two young men in the picture has struggled for years to realize his greatness. Which one would you pick?

Eli looks the part. His size and stature shout that he is a high-level athlete. When he shows up to play, he gets picked first. He is given the benefit of the doubt when he fails that it must be an off day. Because no one who looks like that and has those skills isn’t a great baseball player. He typically lives up to the expectations. 

Evan is just built differently. He shows up and must always begin his ascent from the bottom of the hill. He doesn’t get picked first. Sometimes, he has to worry about getting picked at all. His measurables (minus speed) don’t jump off the charts, but when the game starts and he gets his chance in live action, his abilities shine through. Yet people are always surprised when he exceeds their judgments of him. 

This helmet is an excellent reminder that we don’t know the reality of others. We forget that when we judge a book by its cover or a person by their appearance, we typically get it wrong.

Because the reality is the game of failure has always been hardest on Eli. He has struggled for years to accept his success. He has suffered from self-doubt, anxiety, and streaks of failure on the field. Not because he doesn’t have the skills but because sometimes we are our own worst critic. And when you are a critic but you look like you belong life can be even harder because everyone assumes you are doing alright and are just having an off day. They assume you don’t need help or encouragement. Plus, when you look the part, not everyone is cheering for your success.  Don't get me wrong he has succeed. He is a three-time varsity letter winner and a returning all-conference player. He is great, but greatness has come at a price. His opportunities to achieve his dreams have always come at the expense of having to prove himself wrong.

The game of baseball has always been easy for Evan.  He has rarely had to struggle on the field. His biggest struggles have been getting others to look past his stature to give him a chance. To look past his dad’s role as a coach and not assume he gets special treatment. He has often had to wait his turn to get his opportunity to shine. He has often had to prove himself as not a fluke then prove it again. He has often been disregarded as just another kid with an impossible dream that isn’t based in reality. His opportunities have always come at the expense of proving others wrong. 

Two talented players sharing a season but having taken very different paths to get there. I am sure they are not the only ones with a unique story around getting their names on the helmet. 18 players means 18 different journeys to achieve their dreams. It also represents the lives of those who didn’t get to sign. Maybe they are still chasing, but their time isn’t now; perhaps they have found a new dream and have shifted courses, or maybe they will soon face the hard reality that their dream will never be achieved. 

Conclusion

This helmet is a reminder that there is more than one way to get where you are going and that we should spend more time focused on our own progress moving along our journey, not comparing, competing with or judging the journeys of others. 

This helmet will be displayed in our home because I am proud of Eli and Evan. Because I want to be reminded that life isn’t easy and we shouldn't judge others by what little we can see of their journey.  Some people look like they belong on the outside and are struggling internally to fit the role. Others don’t look like they belong but have everything needed; they hope someone will give them a chance. 

I hope this helmet reminds us that we are all on a journey towards a goal. That we all achieve our goals at different paces and in various ways, and that is okay. Be reminded that we learn more while we are on the journey than when we achieve the dream. I encourage you to keep chasing your dreams, no matter how old you are.