Be a GENUINE person.
This is a picture of my son (right) and a couple of fellow soccer players.
The kid in the middle and my son first played together when they were eight years old. They then traveled separate paths. They would see or compete with each other from time to time but never teammates again.
The kid on the left started playing with my son in 7th grade. From that moment on, they played together through their senior year of high school.
This picture came to be as they ended their high school careers, all three played on the same team for an all-star exhibition.
Ironically enough, my son has retired from the game, but the other two are now teammates on a club team.
So what
Sports, like most things in life, involve people. Relationships, whether you value them or wish they didn’t matter, are a central part of life. Healthy relationships are vital for a life lived well. Here are some things to consider to help you have more positive relationships in the communities of people you encounter.
Relationships can come and go. But people will always be left with an impression of you. Be the type of person people are willing to take a picture with when they see you in the future.
People have people. It wasn’t just these players who had a connection. Their parents formed connections. These boys played together for the last time as their parents sat in the stands together for the last time. We shared stories of the past and dreams of the future. Remember, how you treat others doesn’t just impact their impression of you; it affects their communities impression of you too. People talk. Be the type of person people speak positively about.
People change. That is why relationships don’t always last, and they are hard while they are going on. My son began his career as a field player and ended up as a goalie. Another of the boys started as a goalie and ended on the field. People aren’t designed to stay stagnant people are designed to grow and change. Some relationships are worth the pain of evolving together. Some relationships have their time and place in our lives and then end. Both types are valuable and should be treasured. Be the type of person others recognize the value in the relationship no matter how long it lasted or how it ended.
Relationships are emotional. These boys bonded over shared experiences. One individual's happiness in winning a game would, at times, result in the sadness of another from losing that game. Sometimes they shared the same emotions, like concern over an injury. The interactions and events were emotional. In the end, I can be sad a relationship is over or glad it happened. Be the type of person who chooses to see the joy, not the sadness.
Relationships require intentional effort. You don’t get the relationships you want; you get the relationships you build. People don’t treat you the way you want to be treated; they treat you the way you let them treat you. Be the type of person who is intentional about who they spend time with, what they spend that time doing, and how they treat the people they are with.
Here is how.
Here is how you can make the most of the communities you get to be a part of and the relationships you experience. Be a GENUINE person.
Generious - give what you got. The Time/talent/ treasure you got will be needed from time to time by others. Give what you got away with no expectation of a return.
Empathetic - we all have experiences that shape who we are and how we show up. You want others to be empathetic towards you because of what you have experienced. Go first in giving empathy away and see how much you get in return.
Nice - smile, laugh, be merry. Put others first. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Whatever nice means to you, apply it to others, especially the ones who make it hard.
Unafraid - I once heard someone say broken people have edges. All people are broken. Be unafraid of bumping into the edges of others. Don’t be afraid to be in community because you might get hurt. You were made to be in relationships (even introverts), get out there, and live fearlessly.
Integrity - be the same person regardless of who you are with. People should know what to expect when they interact with you regardless of where they cross your path or who you are with when they cross it. This consistency of how you show up creates a comfort that is good for you and others.
Non-judgemental - people are trying to figure themselves out. You can disagree without judging, and you can be yourself without being offended by those who don’t share your view. Those are both forms of judgment, and neither is helpful. You can live truth without constantly calling others liars.
Engaged - we are living in distracted times. Engage in the process of being present. Listening, curiosity, and storytelling are lost arts. People are drawn to others who demonstrate these skills. Be someone others are drawn to.
People need to experience GENUINE human connection. It’s good for our minds, bodies, and souls. Be a person who is good for others souls