What Do The Words You Choose When You Aren’t Worried About Consequences Reveal About You?
A high-profile CEO recently made headlines after comments at a company town hall. His remarks carried the tone of the well-known "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" meme—essentially he was expressing outdated beliefs and resistance to change because of the belief that change would negatively impact himself. .
One attendee reflected on the situation, saying, “I hope someday I get to a point where I can say whatever I want without having to worry about the consequences.”
This statement raises an important question: If you reached a point in life where there were no consequences to what you said, what would you choose to say?
Words Reveal the Heart
At its core, this is a question of character. When stripped of the need for strategic phrasing, corporate diplomacy, or fear of repercussions, what comes out of your mouth? Your response is a reflection of your deeply held beliefs—what your heart truly values.
When you can say anything you want, will you choose to speak from a place of love, wisdom, and a desire to build others up? Or will you speak from a place of selfishness, cynicism, or even contempt?
In business, we often focus on external metrics: revenue, efficiency, market share. But if we measure leadership by how someone speaks when they believe there are no consequences, we gain insight into something more fundamental—who they truly are.
The Legacy of Your Words
This leads to a second, equally important question:
When you're not around to hear it, what do you want people to say about you?
These two questions are linked. The words you choose in moments of perceived freedom—the times when no filter is needed—shape the legacy you leave behind. Are you the leader who:
Speaks with wisdom, builds others up, and assumes positive intent?
Invests in the future by fostering an environment of trust, open-mindedness, and curiosity?
Listens to and empathizes with employees and stakeholders rather than clinging to the past out of fear?
Or are you the leader who:
Prioritizes self-interest and personal gain at any cost?
Assumes the worst in others and devalues opposing viewpoints?
Seeks control by dominating the conversation and belittles others?
Your leadership voice—whether spoken in a boardroom or a casual conversation—tells people what you truly believe and value.
The Science Behind What Comes Out Under Pressure
Behavioral psychology suggests that our core beliefs, many of which are subconscious, emerge when we are under stress, at rest, or when we believe no one is watching. Dr. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize-winning psychologist, describes two modes of thinking:
System 1 (Instinctive Thinking): Fast, automatic, and emotional. This is where deeply ingrained beliefs live.
System 2 (Deliberate Thinking): Slower, rational, and effortful. This is where calculated responses happen.
When there are no consequences—when System 2 doesn’t need to intervene—System 1 dominates. Your words, in those moments, are the purest reflection of what you believe.
This principle has long been recognized beyond psychology. The Christian Bible, for instance, captures it this way:
“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
— Matthew 12:34 (NIV)
Here, Jesus is addressing religious leaders who resisted change, despite their knowledge and privilege. They had the most to lose if the world evolved beyond their control—just like some modern business leaders fighting to preserve outdated practices, even in the face of clear industry shifts.
A Practical Should I Say It Filter
So, how can you tell if you are becoming the kind of person who, given the chance to speak freely, would naturally build others up?
A simple but powerful filter is to ask: Are my words rooted in qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness?
When leaders operate from these principles, their words—whether spoken in a high-stakes meeting or a casual conversation—will create trust, inspire action, and leave a lasting positive impact.
If that’s what fills your heart, then when the moment comes to speak, do so proudly, loudly, and consistently. Because the real test of your heart and beliefs isn’t what you say when you have time to plan it, its what you say when you just say it.